Friday, February 17, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Are you my wife?
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly.He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
Funny joke found at: http://www.jakesjokes.com/view.php?joke=1706
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Confused archeologist
Q: How do you confuse an archeologist?A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Joke found at: http://www.jakesjokes.com/view.php?joke=17665
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Yo mama so stupid...
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.Funny joke found at: http://www.jakesjokes.com/view.php?joke=7806
Monday, February 13, 2006
Microsoft fix-all
There are three engineers in a car - an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work..."
Joke found at: http://www.jakesjokes.com/view.php?joke=691
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Casino Blonde
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice. And she adds, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I m completely nude."With that she takes off everything but her necklace and rolls the dice while yelling, "Mama needs new clothes." Then she yells, "YES, YES, YES!! I WON, I WON, I WON."
She begins jumping up and down and hugging both of the dealers. Then she picks up her money and her clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?"
The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching."
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb.
Joke found at: http://www.jakesjokes.com/view.php?joke=16925
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Where's your wife?
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said, "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"To which the farmer replied, "Thank God... I thought I had gone deaf!"
Joke found at: http://www.jakesjokes.com/view.php?joke=9200